Bella's Choice
by ellabella13
Summary: Set in New Moon.Bella jumps off the cliff,but in this story,It was intentional,not recreational and she drowns. Bella gets to watch earth from Elsewhere & must make the decision wherther to go back to living or to stay dead. What will she choose?
1. Chapter 1: An ending

**A/N: Okay, so when i have somthing in my head i have to get it out. this came to me while in a car trip staring out the the windscreen from the back, watching oncoming traffic, wondering if you would know, the exact instant before you died that you were going to die. (emo huh? lol) this consequently resulted in a long internal debate with myself over what happens when you die. If any hof you have read 'The Lovely Bones' you will understand the whole well thing, that was where that idea came from. anyway so full summary, it's in New Moon when Bella jumps off the cliff, but in this story, It was intentional, not recreational. Bella gets to watch earth from Elsewhere and must make the decision werther to go back to living or to stay dead. what will she choose? **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. this is purely a creative way of expressing myself and to get stuff out of my head. Twilight and Newmoon belongs to Stepheneie Meyer. **

**Chapter One: An ending, but also maybe a beginning.**

I had always wondered, what happened when someone died. I had never  
exactly feared it. I wasn't particularly religious. I wasn't sure if I  
believed in heaven or hell or God or angels or the devil, for that matter.  
I had wondered if you would be reincarnated or if there was a heaven or  
some kind of after life. But I knew as I watched the light above the water  
fade as I started to sink further and further below the surface that I was  
about to find out. I had not intentionally meant for this to happen, when  
I had jumped I had not thought this would be my last act on earth. The  
underlying current, which had never even entered my mind, was too strong  
and I was too weak. The cold had paralyzed me, and even if I wanted to  
stop and fight for life now, it was too late. My arms were spread wide as  
if embracing my fate. Welcoming death. Succumbing to the nothingness I had  
felt when he (who I could not even bear to think his name) had left me.

I mentally farewelled my love. My friends, my parents, my world. I would  
not be too greatly missed. And at least this was not painful, the pain  
that I would have had to endure if I had died in any other of my past near  
death experiences. This was finally it. I would cease to exist. I closed  
my eyes and felt the last bubbles of precious air escape my lips and  
slowly allowed myself to float into oblivion. And at that moment, when I  
realised that I had died, I mourned my death. I longed to say the things I  
had never said to Renee and Charlie. I longed to do all the things I had  
been waiting for. I wanted to finish school, get a degree, travel the  
world, get married, and have children even. I wanted, desperately, to  
live. Edward leaving me no longer mattered. I had broken my promise. How  
could I be so careless of myself? And what about Jacob?

"Bella" I could hear a familiar voice, calling my name, and a warm smooth  
hand stroking my head. "Bella, wake up, dear." But I'm dead… aren't I? I  
slowly opened my eyes, and there sat my Grandmother. "Oh my god, I am dead  
aren't I?" She nodded sadly. "Yes Bella, I'm afraid you are my dear,  
welcome to elsewhere." "Elswhere? Where is elsewhere? What happened?" I  
moaned.  
"You jumped of the cliff in LaPush. The current swept you under, and it  
was very cold and you drowned."

I couldn't think. Couldn't move. I sat numb with shock. I was dead. 18  
years. That was all I had. It seemed so short. I was now furious at  
myself. What would he think if he ever found out? How could I be so  
selfish? I was loved. Maybe not by who I loved the most but by Charlie and  
Renee and Jacob. What had happened? Why in my weakest of moments had I  
been tested in a test that had now determined my fate?

I now longed for them both. I wanted to press my body against Edward's  
cold marble body. Smell his sweet smell. Hear his melodious voice,  
whispering in my ear. Taste his glorious kisses and feel his lips moving  
with mine. I wanted to feel Jacob's strong arms around me. Be wrapped in  
his bone crushing hug. I wanted to feel his warm body close to mine and  
his lips smashed up against my own. Wait… what? Kiss Jacob? But I love  
Edward. I do. I love Edward. We belong together. But… Jacob, I want to  
kiss him too.

This was not right. I love Edward. But I love Jacob too. He had been my  
sun in the darkest of nights. He made me see some light. I knew he loved  
me too.

"Bella, it's not too late. You could go back." My grandmother startled me  
from my thoughts. "But… you said" "Yes you are dead at this moment. But  
they are trying to resuscitate you. See how you are not solid like me?" I  
looked down at my body, clothed in a light white dress. I could see the  
ground through me. That was weird. "You have a choice to make Bella. You  
can go back." Gran spoke suddenly. "You can go back to where you will  
still be in pain. Edward will still be gone. But Charlie and Renee are  
there. As is Jacob and Angela. You can go back and live the rest of your  
life. Complete the things you wanted to do. If you want. But you must  
choose soon. You are running out of time." I thought about it. I loved  
Edward with all my being. He had left me. He didn't love me. There was no  
point in life if he didn't love me, what was the point? "Gran, he doesn't  
love me. There is no point." I whispered. "Isabella! I would have thought  
you to know better than it is not the end of the world if a boy doesn't  
love you." She scolded. "But I will give you a gift. A gift of sight. Look  
here." She indicated at a well behind me. She led me to the well and  
looked down at the dark water. "Show her Edward" she commanded calmly.

The water stirred and it became light blue like the sky and then turned  
cloudy. Suddenly it showed earth. As if it was a long way a way. It zoomed  
closer, pass stars, entering the earth's atmosphere, through clouds and  
vapour, toward the blurs of green and brown land. It got closer I started  
to see tiny houses and cars, which gradually got bigger and bigger. It was  
like looking out the window of a landing plane. Then we came to a run down  
house and entered a dark and filthy attic. There on the ground, in a ball,  
lay my love. Pain and anguish contorted his god-like face. Suddenly his  
phone started to vibrate. He looked at it, and a look of shock entered his  
features. He answered it; "What?" he asked tensely. My spine shivered at  
the sound of his voice. Then suddenly he shut the phone shut and  
whispered; "Leave me alone". My pain that I had endured was nothing to  
what I felt now, looking at the pain that was so evident on my love's face  
was worse than that. The phone started to vibrate again, he paused to  
consider something before answering it again; "Get on with it" he growled.  
He paused and then his eyes opened and he stared at the ceiling. "What?"  
he asked his voice flat and emotionless. Then after listening to whatever  
the caller was saying he looked extremely angry. Then he pinched his nose.  
A trait that he only performed when he was having trouble controlling his  
anger. It was such an Edward thing to do.

After another long pause, he answered what I could only assume to be a  
question asksd from the other side; "Not particulary." Then finally I was  
informed to who was calling him. "Then why did you call me, Rosalie, if  
not to get Alice in trouble? Why are you bothering me?" My breath caught  
at the mentioning of my old best friends name and I started to wonder what  
was going on. Why wasn't He with his family?

**Well what do you think? Read and review :)**


	2. Hope

Hey everyone here is chapter two

**Hey everyone here is chapter two. It is dedicated to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: don't own anything**

**Chapter Two:  
**Edward interrupted my thoughts by demanding; "Then why?" Angrily at  
Rosalie. "Spit it out Rosalie, you have ten seconds." He waited  
impatiently for her to reply. "Interesting advice, Rosalie. Let me tell  
you a little story about a pot and a kettle…" his sarcastic response  
obviously got cut off by Rosalie's answer.

I couldn't figure out what they were talking about, but I could tell he  
was hurting. I wanted to somehow end his pain, but he didn't love me, and  
so I could not do anything for him. That and I was dead, or in elsewhere  
or whatever it was called.

"Forks was never the problem, Rosalie." Forks wasn't the problem? Did that  
mean I was the problem? They left because of me? The throbbing of my heart  
was unbearable. I had caused my love and his family to move. It was my  
fault. I now knew if faced with that cliff again I would have jumped  
without a second thought. Tears had started to well up in my eyes. Any  
minute now they would escape.

"Just because B-bella,-" (he stuttered over my name. Funny, he seemed to  
have as much trouble saying my name as I did saying his.) "-has moved to  
Florida, it doesn't mean that I am able…" he cut off. Doesn't mean he is  
able to what? I was on my knees just in front of him, searching his eyes,  
I tried to touch him but my hand went straight through him. And what did  
he mean by me moving to Florida? I was dead for crying out loud. "-Look  
Rosalie, I really am sorry but, it wouldn't make anyone happier if I were  
there." He paused again for a second and then; "What is it you are not  
telling me Rosalie?" he demanded. I was sincerely confused. What was going  
on?

He paused, listening to whatever Rosalie was saying, looking as confused  
as I felt. "I don't understand what you are saying Rosalie." He told her.  
And then at her answer, the pain that was illustrated across his face was  
worse than I could have ever imagined. He slammed the phone shut, and  
slowly, he sunk back to the ground. I knew that if had tears to cry, he  
would be crying a river as he dry sobbed. He actually reminded me of  
myself after he had left me on that fateful day in the woods.

I could only guess that he had been informed of my death. Which did not  
make sense to me. He had told me he did not love me. That I wasn't good  
for him. Why would he be in so much pain if he didn't love me? That's when  
I realised how mistaken I was. The thought over the one sided conversation  
I had just heard. He did love me. He must have left for some dumb reason.  
To protect me from becoming like him, and to rid me of the danger he  
thought he brought to me. He had made his entire family leave to save me.  
He was so selfless, that he endured as much pain as I had, if not more, to  
protect me. I was nearly on the ground with him rolling around laughing in  
happiness. He loved me! I could go back. Surely after this he would  
realise that I was in more danger without him. He would come back to me.  
He would love me again.

I lay down next to him, even though he could not see, or feel or hear me.  
I embraced him, stroking his head, kissing his face and his neck and his  
lips. I told him how much I loved him. And continued to stroke his face.  
"Bella" he whispered. I froze, shocked. He couldn't see me, how could he…  
"Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella" he mumbled continuously. "My Bella."

"I'm here, I'm here. It's okay. We are going to be okay. I promise." I  
whispered to him. "Gran! Gran! I want to go back. He loves me! I have to  
go back to him. I need to live. I want to go back help me go back!!" I  
yelled and sobbed, searching for her. "Where was she?"

**Hope you liked the second chapter. Please review ;) **


	3. life

Disclaimer: all belongs to S

**Disclaimer: all belongs to S.M. the great one. **

**Read and review ******

**Enjoy**

**Chapter Three:**

I was suddenly starting to be pulled backwards up to the heavens, by an  
invisible string. I was shouting for Edward, begging him to come and find  
me not dead. He swiftly looked upwards, and I swear that he saw me now.  
"Bella!" he whispered breathlessly. "Edward, I am not dead, I am not dead,  
I am coming back!" but I was unsure whether or not he heard me, as I was  
whisked back to elsewhere before I could say another word. I could see  
nothing as my vision was blurred by salty tears.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Bella, what happened, sweet?" Gran asked  
kindly. "Gran, I want to go back, I have to go back. He loves me." Gran  
grimaced, "Bella, he saw you, I don't know how, but he did, I am not sure  
whether you can go back now." She whispered sadly.

"But you said I could if I wanted. And I want to, so bad. He needs me. We  
belong together." I started to sob. How could I be so stupid and selfish?  
Why did I do this? One stupid moment of weakness and I am dead and lose  
him forever. "Yes I know, dear, I know. But when he saw you, the rules  
changed. No one on earth may know about Elsewhere; even if you went back  
you would not remember your time here."

"Gran, please, I am begging you, I love him with all my heart and soul, he  
is truly my soul mate. I know he is a vampire, but he is so good, and we  
are meant to be together. He only left to save me from something I was  
never at risk from. He loves me too. He sacrificed his own feelings for  
me. How much do you love granddad? Enough to die for if you could not have  
him? If you had a chance, to be with him forever would you not take it?" I  
asked desperately. "Bella, I love your grandfather very much, I understand  
the love you feel for Edward. And I do not mind that he is a vampire, but  
you are very young, dear, and no boy, vampire or not, is worth risking  
your life over." She answered sadly, "and I do get to still be with him."  
"Exactly, and imagine eternity forever without him. Edwards immortal, he  
will never come here, I will spend forever without him if I stay, and I  
couldn't bear it. Is there a way to commit suicide in Elsewhere?"  
"Isabella Marie Swan, don't you dear joke about such things." She growled.  
"Gran, I am sorry, but I couldn't bear life after death without him. He is  
my heaven." I looked sincerely into her eyes, "Please, help me." She  
stared back into mine, "Isabella," she sighed "If you go back, it will be  
too late, they are trying to resuscitate you, but it's been to long. After  
'They' changed the rules, time went back to normal Even if you lived you  
would be a vegetable. Unless… if Edward got there in time, there is a  
chance he could change you. You would be immortal like him, but, there are  
no guarantees, he might not make it. I may never see you again. And what  
about your parents?..." she paused undecided. "Please Gran."

She stood up abruptly. "I am going to be in so much trouble." She  
muttered. "Hurry, there is not much time. I still have the elixir" she  
briskly walked towards the well. "Bella, I love you dear. Be good. I hope  
you find what you want" She embraced me tightly and I had a sudden feeling  
that I would never see her again. I had chosen my fate. "Tell Grandpa, I  
said hi, and I love him, and tell my parents when they get here that I am  
so sorry, but I had to, I love him too much. Tell them I love them as  
well, but… this is my fate, this was my choice and… tell Jacob too. Thank  
you Gran. I love you."

Tears, ran silently down my face, as she poured the silvery, unscented  
elixir over me. I became wispy, even more see-through than before. And I  
was sucked into the well, the same way as before. I could hear a faint  
echo as I started plummeting back towards earth, "Hurrrrryyyyy  
Bbbeeeelllllaaaa, yoooouuuu dooonnn'ttt haaaavvveee muuucccchhh  
ttiiiiimmmmmeeee."

The next thing I knew after falling through the clouds, was that I was in  
a hospital, In the waiting room was Billy, Jacob and Charlie. They all  
looked sullen and miserable. Then in another room I was whisked into  
people were standing at a window, it was Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and  
Emmet. I could hear Rose and Emmet whispering. 'This doesn't look good. We  
should just change her." Alice had her head on Jasper's shoulder, her body  
was wracked with dry tearless sobs. Esme's eyes did not move from what she  
was looking at through the window. In the room that the window shoed,  
there was a pale girl on a bed, with all sorts of wires and tubes sticking  
out of her. They were using a diffibulator to try and restart her heart.  
There were many people standing aournd. Doctors and nurses. . I only  
recognised two of them. Carlisle was trying to revive my empty body. And I  
say empty because it looked empty, I was standing next to it now, shocked  
at what I saw. I was not in there. It wasn't me. Edward, sat holding my  
bodies hand, his face contorted in pain. "Come on Isabella!" he moaned.  
"Bella, please Bella." I reached to stroke his hand that was holding the  
dead white fragile hand in his. I accidently touched it, and was sucked  
back into it. It was an indescribable feeling. Not altogether pleasant,  
but not painful either. It was cold, and my mind slowly began to sink into  
nothing. It felt like I was drowning all over again. The last thing I  
heard, was through my body's ears; "Bella, I love you. Come back to me."  
It was whispered by Edward's velvet voice. My Edward. He loved me. I tried  
to find my way back to that voice that sounded like heaven, but it was  
dark, and I could not find the way, and It felt so far, and I was so weak.  
Then nothingness.

**That's the end of chapter three, hope you enjoyed it. this won't be updated until the end of july, really sorry, but I will be otherwise engaged lol. Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	4. Awakening

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter... Finally! sorry it took so long, but i had an awsome trip away. **

**read and review, hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight (Breaking Dawn Rocks!! I have got all my friends into the series, so don't have any of my books at the moment :( lol) **

**Chapter four:**

I opened my eyes. White, every where was white. I began to sit up, and winced in pain. I realised that my arm was broken, and looked down to see that there were needles and a drip in my other arm. I must be in hospital I thought. 'What happened?' I groaned out loud to none as the room was empty as far as I could see. Then suddenly the memory of jumping off the cliff as I had seen the La Push boys do came flooding back. I remembered succumbing to the nothingness and not struggling against the impossible currents. I remember welcoming death until… Elsewhere… "Edward!!" I cried out loud. I tried to get out of bed, ripping the drip out as I half jumped half fell out of bed. Just as closed my eyes to hide the floor that I was about to hit face first, I felt cold arms encase my body, instead of feeling the sickening crunch that I was expecting to hear. "Bella, please tell me you are not trying to kill yourself by jumping off the bed, it wouldn't work half as well as jumping of a cliff. It would simply cause you pain." Said a familiar sarcastic voice that sounded like bells. "Alice!" I whispered in delight, realising how raw and horse my throat felt. She set me back on the bed, and tried to fix the drip, but I threw my arms around her neck! "Alice! Oh I missed you so much." She threw me an angry glance which soon changed to one of pity. "Carlisle, I need you to fix Bella's drip" she muttered, knowing that where ever he was in the hospital he would hear her. "Oh Bella, you're a mess. I told him. I told him. But did he listen to me? No." she vented, and then hugged me back.

"Where is he, Alice? He was here. I saw him. He was holding my hand." I realised that remembered everything of Elsewhere; Gran, the Well, being sucked down to earth and the attic, Edward's pain. Alice looked confused; "you have been in a coma for a week Bella. You have not once opened your eyes. How could you possibly know that Edward was here?" she eyed me suspiciously. "I..I…I, Saw you. All of you. Standing around the room. Charlie, Billy, Jacob, Emmett…everyone. They were trying to resuscitate me." I stammered out, emitting everything else I could remember. "Amazing. An outer body experience. Amazing. I must get Carlisle." She danced gracefully out of the room, "Alice, wait! Where is he? I need to see him! Please!!" I called out croakily to no one as she had already disappeared.


	5. Confuesed

**Heres the next chapter, hope you enjoy. Review if you want more :) **

**dont own anything, all things twilight belongs to Stephenie meyer**

**Chapter Five: Confuesed**

The anxiety claimed me in a sudden rush. The hole in my heart, that had been dug when he left, throbbed instantly. He had left. He had been here and then he had left. I closed my eyes, willing myself to leave this body once again and not return, was it possible to feel even more broken than I had before I had jumped of the La Push Cliff?

I could feel the tickling sensation in my eyes as salt water began to leak from my closed lids. And then something cold and smooth as marble wipe them away. I opened my eyes a fraction, still frantically hoping, despite all that had happened. This time I was not disappointed. He was there. His face only millimetres from mine. 'Edward' I sighed contentedly. And then the leaking transformed into a waterfall at the sudden happiness that claimed me. It was overwhelming. 'Thank you for coming back to me' he whispered back. 'I thought you had left me forever.' I pulled away from him abruptly, I could not think while breathing in his intoxicating scent. 'I thought that you had left me forever, you were the one who came back.' I stuttered, slightly confused.

His eyes flashed with a tortured look. 'Yes, I had left Forks, hoping to save you from me, and yes I had intended it to be forever. But Bella, I cant exist without you. I was coming back, I thought I was going insane, I had a hallucination of you, holding me and telling me everything would be okay, But I had already decided I was coming back because I realised that I could not stay away. I am a selfish creature. I was coming to beg you to take me back. Part of me hoping you had moved on, part of me hoping you hadn't. I was just prolonging it. Either way, I had to see you, had to kiss you and hold you….but then I got a call from Rosalie and she told me what had happened. That you had jumped and you had drowned. They thought they had lost you, that it was impossible to bring you back. I….' he cut off, dry sobbing. I wrapped my arms around him; 'you held my hand, and told me to come back. You helped me find the way. You didn't give up. You told me you loved me, and I came back.' I remembered passionately, and I saw myself floating above him then next to him as he whispered in my ear, fiercely holding my hand, not giving up, begging me not to either.

He looked at me partly confused, partly shocked. "How could you possibly know what I did?" he asked. Everything was strangely starting to sink in again. "The hallucination you said you had?" he nodded slowly. "It wasn't a hallucination Edward. I was there with you in that filthy attic. I heard every word you said to Rosalie. You thought I had moved to Florida, you didn't want to hear what she was saying. You were in so much pain, I couldn't bear it, I was wishing so hard that you could hear me telling you it would be okay and how much I loved you, and I thought you couldn't. But you did. And I understood why you left me." And finally everything settled in my head. Before, everything was in overload, like a computer freezing when it had too much information to process, everything now, finally, made sense.

'I love you, Edward, we belong together' I whispered passionately, then I threw my arms around his and pressed my lips to his, dangerously so, tangling my hands and fingers in his hair, and losing myself in him, as his marble cold dingers re-memorised my face, and one arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer to him. And in the brief moments his lips were free from mine, he whispered my name passionately, telling me that he needed and wanted me, as much as I did him.

He pulled away first, as he always had, both of us gasping for air. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his beautiful scent, and whispered; "Don't ever leave me again." His arms stroked my back soothingly, "Never." He replied. 'I don't think I could, even if I wanted to.' And he bent his head to kiss my hair. 'Thank you' I sighed.

I was home. Finally, I had missed everything about him, his eyes, his smell, his voice… everything. I knew he had hurt me, that if he ever left me again I would not have to jump of any cliffs, for I would surely die of heart-ache. The hole in my heart was only just able to repair itself and be whole again, I did not think it was capable of repair should he leave a second time. 'I know love, I missed everything about you too, I could not bear to be away from you but I had to do it to keep you safe from me, I am so sorry for hurting you.' He said in a sudden rush but I pulled away from him, flabbergasted. I hadn't said any of that out loud…. Had I?

Edward stared at me, obviously confused at my reaction. 'How did you hear what I was thinking?' I gasped. 'What? You thought that? My God, Bella, what exactly happened to you? He was off my bed in a split second, 'Carlisle!' he called quietly, knowing he would hear.

My emotions were completely worn out, I had felt so many things since I had woken up; shock, utter loss, passion, love, contentment. Now I felt completely baffled. Something must have happened to me, but what? Had I lost my mind? Maybe this was just all some kind of surreal and tortuous dream.

Carlisle arrived and was talking to Edward so fast that my human ears could not comprehend what they were saying about me. Then Carlisle turned to me and asked; "Bella, how are you feeling?" slowly and clearly. "Great, all things considered." I replied. At that moment Alice walked through the door and rushed and threw her arms around me, she held me extremely close, considering that my smell must have been potent for her. 'Ah, Bella, Thank you for coming back, of course I knew you would. She breathed in deeply. 'It worked!' she smiled smugly and turned to Edward, 'you will thank me later.'

Edward and Carlisle looked as baffled as I felt, which pleased me, for once I was not the only one completely out of the loop! 'Alice, why are you blocking me?' Edward asked slowly but she completely ignored him. She looked at me, I was starting to feel extremely worried and insecure. She rested her head on my shoulder, not that she needed to rest, and then suddenly the hospital room disappeared from my vision, I was in the Cullen's house, in Edwards room, but in it was different as there was an enormous beautiful bed covered in a golden duvet and adorned with wrought iron roses that took up quite a bit of the room. Edward entered the room carrying a girl in his arms who he placed gently on the bed, they started to kiss and soon ended up both on the bed in a passionate embrace. The vision flashed forward, to Edward kneeling in front of the girl holding a small box and the girl nodding solemnly. The jealously I felt at for this girl quickly vanished as I realised it was me. Then all of a sudden the vision disappeared and I was seeing Edward and Carlisle and the hospital room, staring worriedly at Alice who was still on the bed with me, head resting on my shoulder. She smiled wryly at Edward, and he muttered "I wish you hadn't shown her 'that'."


End file.
